Real Philadelphia

The train was about to leave. I had seconds before the Broad Street Line was about to pull out and head south through the concrete wilderness of north Philadelphia. I wanted to get to Citizens Bank Park early to have my pick of the ballpark fare. So I started to run. Nothing gets a husky guy moving like the promise of fried food.

Ten yards from the train the doors began to close. I took three long, gorgeous strides (God I’m handsome) and jumped for the door.

THWACK!

The door closed right on the linen sport jacket on my back. It also closed on my chest but I couldn’t feel it cause I’m so strong.

Point is I made it. I was on my way to enjoy a baseball game. And this one would feature the greatest player in the sport today and maybe ever: Shohei Ohtani. It would also feature the Phillies but nothing is perfect.

The train began to fill up with some of Philadelphia’s finest. A frat dude with his glory days behind him drank a 48 oz soda in a plastic cup without a lid. Two tweakers swayed back and forth in the middle of the car to a rhythm of their own. A weathered senior gentleman drank bourbon from a bottle in a plastic bag and laughed every 30 seconds.

It was, as I often say to Toots, “real Philadelphia” in there.

Upon arriving at the park, I took a stroll along the concourse. Citizens Bank Park is fantastic. There are wide walkways with delicious food everywhere. The green batter’s eye in center field is serene, as are the flower beds that line the bullpens. If you look out of right-center there’s a lovely view of Center City and it looks beautiful. From a distance at least.

But the best thing about the ballyard is that it’s all about the Phillies. There are displays, statues, and paintings everywhere to let you know who you’re going to see. As a Mets fan I find it revolting, sure. But you gotta respect it.

If there’s a complaint to be made against Citi Field it’s that it’s just not Mets-y enough. In its construction the designers tried to honor two different teams: the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Mets. It’s a pretty place but it could use some more color and Mets team spirit. We used to play in Shea Stadium where every section was a different color. Bring the brightness back I say!

As I strolled the yard looking for a food place with a manageable line I noticed something. Many Philadelphians appear to suffer from a genetic condition known as “moronus cranius.” It is more commonly known as “dumb face.” It doesn’t affect everyone but I saw several flies go in and then out of mouths. Maybe it’s something in the water. Or the methamphetamine. Who knows?

Anyway this is a loyal bunch. At nearly every other stadium in the league, Ohtani jerseys would dominate at this game. But not here. Phillies fans could care less. They love their Fightin Phils. Sure it’s gross but again, respect.

And they have good reason to love this team. It occurred to me as they began to bash the god-awful-get-Ohtani-off-this-trainwreck-Angels, the Phillies may be the best team in the National League.

While you may look at the Braves record and scoff, I encourage to consider a few things. First off, the Braves are farts. Second, the Phillies have a better bullpen. And third, the Phillies have a more versatile lineup.

The Braves can bash home runs. But most of those bashers can’t run well. Nearly everyone in the Phillies lineup has speed.

Consider that most people would say the Phils best hitter is Bryce Harper. Well he motored around the diamond for an inside the park home run last week. Then during the game on Tuesday, he legged out a double from a ball in the gap that would be a single for most of the league.

These Phillies are fast, fun, and annoying to play against. They foul off everything and don’t throw away at bats. Plus they execute the findamentals. Johan Rojas, a rookie hitting over .300, laid down a perfect safety squeeze that produced both a run and hit during the game.

Year after year it’s proven that you can’t homer your way through the playoffs. You have to be able to produce runs in other ways. The Braves can do that to an extent, but not like the Phillies or even the Dodgers.

So don’t be blown away by the record of the Braves. Homers are where pitching mistakes go to die. And the pitching gets a lot better in the tournament.

You could argue that the Braves have a better starting staff but I think that’s a push at best. Each team has a reliable vet (Nola/Morton) and a fireballer (Wheeler/Strider). The Braves probably have an edge with Fried over Walker/Lorenzen but starters don’t go long into playoff games anymore.

I like the Phillies chances against the Braves. When they’re hitting, like they did last postseason, they tend to overwhelm the opposition. Combine that with a full, loud, and vibrating stadium full of “dumb faces” and say goodnight. All the Braves regular season wins won’t mean dink and they’re still farts.

For the record, I think the Dodgers are a tougher matchup. They have a versatile lineup, a strong bullpen, and a starting staff with a hall of famer that can still inspire fear and wonder. That series would be a toss-up and a whole lot of fun to watch.

So if you’re still in line to see the Phillies win the National League, stay in line. Baseball is a funny, ridiculous game that is often unfair. But it usually rewards speed and versatility over brute strength. Which, in a matchup between the Phillies and Braves, means it’s always sunny in Philadelphia. Especially in November.